Sex Matters with Dr Thomas Stuttaford

Q: I think my last girlfriend left me because my penis is too small. What is the normal size for a man and can I do anything to maximize my performance?

Dr Thomas Stuttaford is The Times doctor. He says:

A: Thank you for this question, as it raises the important question of the effect of penile size on sexual performance as well as appearance. Confusing these two different aspects of what should be the same question gives rise to an immense amount of unhappiness, anguish and comments that are not necessarily supported by experience.
It is said that men are more interested in the size of other men’s penises than are women. This interest — some women would say obsession — has nothing to do with latent homosexuality but is indicative of the male competitive spirit. Men like to be rich, not only in terms of pounds in the bank but also testosterone in the bloodstream and inches on the penis.

For many men, if they could have a wish that came true, it might well be to have a larger penis. Men rarely see their own penis except from above and this shortens its appearance. They disregard the image from the mirror, although it gives a better impression and is what they see when looking at other men in the showers. Nor do men see other erect penises, and there is not a direct relationship between the size of an erect penis and a flaccid one.

An unerect penis is usually something less than half the size it is when erect, but it is impossible to be more precise. Erect penises are considered normal if they are between 5in and 7˝in (12.7cm to 19cm) but will function adequately when smaller than this or, of course, when larger, although women will begin to object if it’s too large.

A small study of a group of sexually experienced women revealed that when emotion was removed from the equation, size did matter. Women preferred penises at the top of the average range but were more interested in girth than length. As one woman said: she preferred a cigar to a cigarette, however long the cigarette. There was almost universal agreement that without strong emotional bonds to the man, an extra-large penis was a turn-off. But this is not the impression given by porn films watched by some men; and these perpetuate the myths about penile size.

Research published in the Journal of Urology described investigations into the effect on a man’s sex life of having a penis so small that it could justifiably be known as a “micro penis”. The overwhelming majority of the men had normal sexual intercourse and, despite their micro penises, started sex no later than their contemporaries who had a penis of average size. Their partnerships tended to be more lasting than those of their contemporaries. This was attributed to the way in which men with a small penis devoted more time to trying harder in other marital and parental roles. Here lies the answer to the question of what to do about a small penis.

Many women don’t put as much emphasis on penetrative sex or penile size as is supposed. If the man with a small penis is more affectionate, attentive and considerate, there is every likelihood that most women will be delighted with him. There are operations in which the suspensory ligaments to the penis are cut, make it appear longer, whereas, in fact, it is only hanging lower. There are operations to increase girth, but the risk of complications outweighs any advantage. Men with micro penises do, however, find that changing in public is an ordeal. Cosmetic surgery might help this.