Premature Ejaculation

Practical Advice for Helping With Premature Ejaculation

A very common sexual concern among men is whether they orgasm to quickly. Of course, part of the answer to that question is very personal - many women prefer not to have multiple hour sessions as these leave them sore and swollen. But one man out of three considers that they ejaculate too quickly. 

Fears about normality and concerns about ‘how others are doing’ constitute the majority of questions.  Suppose you had participated in the landmark Kinsey sexuality study in 1948 and learned that, like 75 percent of the men involved, you ejaculated two minutes after penetration. 

A man's sexual performance varies from day to day, or partner to partner, so such personal information isn’t very useful.  Depending on your attitudes and expectations and those of your partner, a fulfilling sexual experience can take minutes or hours. Bedroom satisfaction is best defined by the two of you and not studies, averages or even your sagacious sex doctor.

A man can suffer a great deal of self-doubt if he feels he suffers from premature ejaculation, and his partner can suffer from frustration as well. The average male between 18 and 20 orgasms within three minutes. As we mature, this slows some what, but experience as much as physical age is responsible for this.

Even if a man doesn't care to go all night, he will probably want to last more than two minutes! There are two questions to ask yourself in order to decide if you last long enough. 

One is to ask yourself if you are satisfied when you  orgasm.  Apart from impressing your partner, do you feel that you came when you wanted to, giving yourself the maximum pleasure. 

The second question is do you usually come before your partner?  Some women have great difficulty in reaching orgasm, especially during intercourse, but if you have multiple partners who seem to expect orgasm yet you finish before they can reach it, then perhaps you suffer from premature ejaculation.

There are several techniques to try that will help with premature ejaculation:

Masters and Johnson Method

This is the technique developed by the famous sexologists. It involves masturbation, either by yourself or with help from a partner:

Masturbate (lubrication with Astroglide may be helpful). Allow yourself to stop just before ejaculating, relaxing, even letting your erection to decrease. Repeat this until you have a better idea when you have reached the "point of no return". With a partner allow her to stimulate you either via mastrubation or oral sex, and then signal when you are close to ejaculating. Signalling can often come in the form of a gentle squeeze or, more bluntly saying "Stop" or "Slow down". It may take several attempts to be successful using the Masters and Johnson Method. Using this "start and stop" method during intercourse may take practice.

Squeeze Technique

This is a variation of the Masters and Johnson Method. This is where the partner "pinches" the tip or base of the man's penis before ejaculation. This decreases the amount of blood flow to the penis, causing the man to lose his erection.

The Pressure Point

If you are close to ejaculating you may want to know about nature's own Panic Button. Between the scroum and the anus there is a duct that can prevent ejaculation. Have yourself or your partner press with their fingers and you can often stop the ejaculation in its tracks.

The Muscle

Controlling the pubococcygeus muscle is another way of preventing ejaculation. This is the muscle we use to stop ourselves from urinating midstream. Learn to contract that muscle ten times a day and you can use this as another alternative of the start-stop method.

Second Time Around

Men often take a longer time to ejaculate during the second time of coitus. If the first time was too quick, you may want to engage in extended foreplay or oral stimulation while preparing for a repeat performance.

Condoms

Condoms can help decrease the amount of stimulation during intercourse. Ribbed condoms are often the least sensitive. Of course, their greatest importance is in preventing sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Desensitization Creams

Out on the market are creams that contain anaesthetic gels similar to use in offices to decrease stimulation. Most common are the creams that contain the active ingredient benzocaine. Your mileage may vary on these, as some men feel that they make intercourse less pleasurable.

Remember that sex is all about pleasure, but it is also about genetics.  Man was designed to impregnate women, and that meant faster orgasms to allow multiple attempts at fertilization. Coming too rapidly can often be caused by worry and performance anxiety.

The best thing you can do during sex is have fun and enjoy what you're doing!